My body kept flagging something my mind was too composed to notice: a twitch, a tight jaw, a heavy head, the same signals showing up in the same kinds of moments. It took me years to realise they weren't noise, they were data.

A big change floods you with fear, and almost all of it is trying to keep you safe by keeping you small. But one of my fears was different, and the day I noticed it had vanished, it told me more than all the others combined.

I moved to Rome for three months to support my then-girlfriend's research. The novel I'd write and the language I'd learn were the story I performed on top. On confidence, conviction, and the purposes men build when they don't yet know who they are.

Some men carry things alone for years. Not because nobody would help. Because they decided, on someone else's behalf, that it would be too much to ask.

Living in the moment sounds like wisdom. For some men, it's become something else entirely, a comfortable way to avoid looking at a future they're not sure they want to be accountable for.